<3 Journey: The Great Wall..Not of China.

The majority of this blog was written a month ago, but traveling to the states, and then traveling in the states has delayed me in posting this.And it’s good I didn’t post it back then, because I’ve been able to analyze and think about some more stuff,that I have come across in the past three weeks, regarding this thought.

I LOVE being home, because I LOVE my family and friends here so much. I’m learning to just appreciate each and every single moment, living in the moment, instead of missing other things and people. I think we often miss out on appreciating the moment because we’re so caught up missing some moment from the past, or needlessly worrying about some moment in the future (which my never come by the way).

During my time here, I was able to attend one of my best friend’s wedding in Florida. Their love story is pretty much the stuff fairytales are made of, and all the credit goes to God’s creative writing. It was a beautiful wedding.

Imagephoto courtesy of Molliner Photography*

I don’t know about you, but at weddings, my mind starts to wander a bit and starts thinking of all the potential/past “what ifs”.

Ultimately I know that a lot of relationships in the past didn’t work out because they weren’t God’s perfect will, but the human practical side of me has conglomerated all those past hurts into one defense mechanism, “The Great Wall”, and I don’t mean China’s…which I did climb at one time, and when I was done felt like my legs were going to fall off… I mean the wall I put around my heart to guard my heart from being hurt or broken again.

I have come to realize that actually the obstruction around my heart is more of a gate…a VERY tall gate, than a wall. Still, I have to admit I’m not the best at guarding my heart. It’s very bi polar, either I open the gate wide or I lock it up tight. I know this is unhealthy. It’s something I’m aware of, and something God is teaching me how to not take to either extreme, but I wonder if the person God has for me also too has a responsibility in “guarding my heart.”

The bible tells us:

“Guard your heart above all else,
for it determines the course of your life.”- Proverbs 4:23

This pertains to EVERYTHING and EVERYONE you allow in your heart. It’s a super important job, and one that I pray my future spouse will help me with, and that I can help him with.

But more importantly than myself, or my future spouse, guarding my heart, There is The GateKeeper. The Holy Spirit. A gatekeeper is defined as “someone who controls access to something”.Ultimately I want Him to allow what goes in my heart, and who goes in.

But I wonder in a relationship if that is a responsibility for the significant other as well.

“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.” Ephesians 5:25-27

Looks like the responsibility is weighed heavily on the husband. For him to do what it takes and present his bride spotless and pure like what Christ did for the church. That’s a HUGE responsibility, and one that unfortunately many men do not take seriously, and it has had detrimental effects.

The man should guard the heart of the female. He should not be leading a female on. He should be using wisdom in how he interacts with a female he is not interested in. This keeps him above reproach, and also guards his sister’s heart. Also, if that is not his wife, then he’s flirting, or doing other things, with another man’s wife. Do you want a guy flirting, or doing other things, with your future wife? If he is interested in a female, then his actions and decisions regarding her should be selfless ones that will help present her pure, set apart, respectful, gentle, safe, and honorable.

I would have to say the same applies to females. We shouldn’t be giving mixed signals, or flirting, or leading guys on that we have no intention of calling our husband. God calls us to submit to our husbands as if we are submitting to God. God is not o.k. with us fluttering from one guy to the next.

I’m starting to believe that one clear sign that someone is for you is that they guard your heart. They know your flaws and guard against any lies that may try to come in, especially when it comes to their actions and its effect on you.They dont make selfish decisions, they make decisions that are best for your heart, and let me just say, sometimes those decisions may be tough.

I see a picture of a man at the gate of a woman’s heart, next to The Holy Spirit. He sees something wanting to come in, and he looks for approval from The Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit says “No”…the man keeps the gate locked. He sees something else wanting to come in, he looks for approval, The Holy Spirit says “Yes”…the man swings the gate wide open, but the man is constantly consulting The Gatekeeper to see what is best for the ladies heart.

That’s the a kind of love I hope to see and know one day. A love that guards.

Agenda: Love,

Bethsaida

Advertisements

<3 Journey: I Don't Want A Prince Charming.

I’m just a woman trying to learn what a healthy, godly relationship looks like on this ❤ Journey. Feel free to share your opinions/comments. =)

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

This is my analyzation of Prince Charming’s pursuit of Cinderella. I wonder if through this, we all can learn a little something. Please know that humor has been interwoven in the below blog, and has been written with analogies, so commence reading with that filter in mind.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Image

For as long as I can remember, Cinderellla had been my favorite Disney cartoon. At 5, I would make anyone who came over the house watch it with me…repeatedly…. I know every line of every song…heck…every line of every character. I balanced plates on my head, pet stray mice, and attended several make believe balls.

Prince Charming was the perfect prince to me…but recently I’ve had a very different opinion about that.

As a female, the notion of being pursued by a male is dreamy. It also begins to enter your thoughts more frequently, especially as you get older.

I’ve heard some beautiful stories, from my girlfriends, of how their men pursued them. I can’t say I know personally, but growing up Disney, my mind often wanders off to that young naive, hopeless romantic world…that was until a grown up, practical, revelation meteor slammed into it the other day, causing the former to crumble to pieces…

A meteor in the form of this thought:

Prince Charming was a horrid example of pursuing a lady.

I mean all we, I, ever think about is the glass shoe fitting Cinderella’s foot…but think again.. Who was the guy traveling high and low, day and night, rain and shine, in search for the foot that fit the slipper?.. this guy:

Image

He did all the work, then brought Cindie to good ol Prince Charming in his safe, comfortable, cushiony castle.

Maybe Prince was really busy with kingdom stuff, or maybe if he went out he would have been bombarded with ladies all over the land, like Justin Bieber at the Teen Choices Awards…but shouldn’t this mysterious girl that he danced with once, and fell head over heels for, have been worth that?

And if he was busy with kingdom matters, then he should have waited for the time when he was free to go himself and find her.

How much more beautiful would the story have been if the Prince was the one who put the slipper on Cinderella’s foot? Traveled day and night, rain and shine, and finally found the love of his life?

Sorry Prince Charming, you’re just not that Charming anymore…I now dub you Prince Uncharming.

Then this great battle scene came into my mind… of a maze of thorns, a great dragon, and a Prince battling this evil to rescue the girl of his dreams…who happened to be sound asleep.

Prince Philip from Sleeping Beauty.

Image

Now some of you ladies reading this are probably thinking “I don’t need to be rescued!”, and maybe you don’t… But one thing I’m learning is that true love fights…and everyone needs a love that will be willing and ready to fight for them.

I don’t mean the kind of “Why are you looking at my girl?” type fighting…that’s immature, and lame too. I mean the kind of fighting… like in prayer, or when she pushes him away in fear, and he refuses to leave, or working out miscommunications and misunderstandings fighting. Fighting for her best, for her emotional, and spiritual well being.

Prince Philip fought. He left the comfort of his castle, braved the unknown, fought for, and was determined to get his girl. That’s a pursuit worth mentioning and being all gaga (NOT the lady) over.

Ladies: Don’t settle for a pursuit less than that. 
Men: Don’t offer a pursuit less than that.

Agenda:Love,
Bethsaida

What do you think about all this? Can you share a story of powerful pursuit?

<3 Journey: Chivalry, I Forgot About You

***I’m just a woman wanting to learn what a healthy, godly relationship looks like…I’m no expert.  So feel free to leave your input on this ❤ Journey.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

I can’t shake this sweet feeling.

Last night, in Manila, I went out with a friend of a friend and his girlfriend.

First thing, walking to the car he opened the door for me to get in the car. I was awkwardly surprised by this gesture. I’m definitely not used to that, and it felt as weird as putting pants on with my left leg first, than my usual right leg. (try it.. try putting your pants on with the different leg first…weird).

It started raining, but that was not a problem, because the driver had an umbrella ready for me, and he had an umbrella for his girlfriend, to walk from the car to the restaurant. Again, being awkwardly surprised, I didn’t know how to lead the way with the umbrella over me. Should I go to the right or left of the car, the driver kindly instructed me with the point of his hand.

What brings about this feeling of protection? What is that thing called again? Chiv? Chives? Oh.. that’s right Chivalry!

I mean, I’ve heard about that before. I’ve seen lil glimpses of it at times, but it’s been a while since I’ve literally seen such care taken by a man for his lady… Especially since I work in the field that I do, where women are disrespected, and mistreated all the time.

I thank God for that reminder, because it gives a glimpse of hope.

Since I like to ask a lot of questions, all the time (was always that kid in class that had the questions when it was close to the class ending, and that everyone probably hated at that moment), I asked him what was different about his girlfriend that made him want to commit, after a decade of singleness. (his girlfriend wasn’t there at the time)

He said ” How kind she is to other people. She doesn’t see economic differences as a right to treat someone unfairly, or unkindly.”

Plus she’s gorgeous…which he was VERY happy about =)

But the very first thing that he said was her heart… her character.

It was such a blessing to go out with them last night, and see such a sweet example of respect, security, and love.

I believe, unfortunately, that as women we sometimes hide behind “being strong”, and not needing men to do things for us. But I have come to find out that, humbly, we do need men to do things for us, like give us their jacket, or walk us from one place to the next with an umbrella over our head, or carry our bags, or walk us to our car,  or open the car door for us (and not just on the first date), and be enamored by our character, and not only by our outward appearance.

It doesn’t make us any less of a “strong woman”. It just makes us a woman.

I once knew what being treated with chivalry was, many moons ago, but more recently, the closest I’ve come to chivalry is going to Medieval Times, where the nights kept on calling the ladies “mi lady” (which I secretly though that was so precious).

Men:

1. Us ladies want to be treated like the princesses God made us to be. Sorry for any misconception, or rejection.

2. Thank you to all those men who have not lost the art of chivalry.

Image

Ladies:

1. Don’t settle for a guy that doesn’t respect you, and make you feel like you’re worth more than rubies, through the little things that he does for you. (just a thought, forget your umbrella on a rainy day, and see how he handles that situation =)

2. And to those who “don’t need it”.. be open to it. You just might find that putting your pants on with the opposite leg first, just might be better =)

Ladies, do you have stories of chivalrous men? Would you mind sharing them? 

Men, do you have tips? Ideas? Comments on this? Would you mind sharing them?

<3 Journey: Single? Here Are Some Awesome Video Tips.

The title of this blogsite is Agenda: Love. Love God. Love Others. Part of loving others is being with a person for the rest of your earthly life. I don’t know what that looks like, obviously, but I think it is fitting to write a blog at least once a month regarding this kind of love. I know that I have yet to have a relationship that is healthy, and godly. Would you mind journeying along with me during this learning process? Studying what a godly, healthy relationship looks like? Asking tough questions, getting healing from past junk?

I’ll be calling these relationship blogs: The Love Journey Series (<3 Journey Series)

I’m definitely no expert on relationships… Just a woman trying to figure out what a healthy, godly relationship looks like.Your input,and comments would be greatly appreciated.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength” Prov. 17:22.

I dunno about you, but I love to laugh ,especially when it comes to things dealing with relationships.

Now I hope that you don’t actually go ahead and take the advice from these next Youtube videos…or maybe y ou should…but I do hope that they put a smile on your face, and a giggle in your heart.

A more inspiring Love Journey blog will appear sometime this month… but for now… Enjoy =)

Tips for the single Facebooker

Tips for the single church folks

Agenda: Love,
Bethsaida

Love Journey: Leaving it All Behind, Except Your Boo

It’s not rocket science to know that having relationships is the lifeline of being a human being. Especially romantic ones. I mean I work in an environment where I see, daily, the pain, deception, twistedness, brokenness, and unhealthiness of relationships between men and women.

I have to be honest and say that it is VERY easy to get jaded in regards to godly, amazing men existing in the world. But God was gracious enough to surround me around amazing men in my family growing up… so I know there is hope.

Yet still, at times there is a part of me that gets frustrated with the lack of men stepping up and the lack of character, and integrity, that seem to be infiltrating my generation…both for males and females.

The title of this blogsite is Agenda: Love. Love God. Love Others. Part of loving others is being with a person for the rest of your earthly life. I don’t know what that looks like, obviously, but I think it is fitting to write a blog at least once a month regarding this kind of love. I know that I have yet to have a relationship that is healthy, and godly. Would you mind journeying along with me during this learning process? Studying what a godly, healthy relationship looks like? Asking tough questions, getting healing from past junk?

I’ll be calling these relationship blogs: The Love Journey Series

I’m definitely no expert on relationships… Just a woman trying to figure out what a healthy, godly relationship looks like.Your input,and comments would be greatly appreciated.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

The other day my daily Bible verse app had this verse:

 “And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or property, for my sake, will receive a hundred times as much in return and will inherit eternal life.”Matthew 19:29

Read the verse again, see if you notice one member of the family that Jesus doesn’t mention you need to leave?

Your spouse.

I have read that verse several times, but when I read it this time, that truth stuck out to me.

I have seen the truth of leaving my family, and receiving mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers…even children…all over the world. My family has truly been extended, and I know that it will continue to grow as God takes me different places in life…but why doesn’t Jesus mention your spouse?

That must say a lot about what God thinks about marriage. It is the strongest human bond that can ever exist. Where the two become ONE.

How does this apply to a single person? Well It makes me think of this one thing. Whoever you marry has to have the same heart passions as you. If one person feels called to settle down in a country that is on the complete opposite side of the world than the country that God has placed in your heart…well you can’t one day say “Sorry, honey I need to go to Timbuktu because God has called me there, so have fun serving him here.”

No.. both people have to have the same passion, heart, desire, goal. Both have to be willing to leave mother, father, sister, brother, property…together…as a team.

This is something sobering to think about for myself personally. I don’t want to ever feel that I can’t fulfill the desires God has put in my heart because my spouse’s desires are completely opposite.

I mean, yes timing is just as important. Perhaps there is a time for one person to fulfill the calling God has in their life, and then the spouse’s turn… but the bottom line is the hearts have to be the same.

And let me just say, that it is helpful if the man knows what God has called him to, and pursues it. It’s a man’s role to pursue…why do I say that? Because that’s what Christ did for each of us.. pursued us with His love… and the man is supposed to treat the wife like Christ…but that will be a whole other blog.

A healthy, godly relationship is one where both are willing to leave it all behind…TOGETHER… to pursue whatever it is God has asked.

What do you think about this?

****my oh so wise brother-in law sent me a message stating that some manuscripts say “wife”…so I just want to clarify some things. 1. I use controversial titles to entice people to read my blogs…yes.. you were enticed. 2. OBVIOUSLY no godly relationship works unless GOD is #1..before the spouse. 3. “similar burdens do not always have to bring couples together, it could but it must be their love for GOd first, then for each other. Because sometimes the burden is only for a season and often it does not always transpire the way anticipated.”-Pastor Wight. It’s great to go through this journey, learning what godly love is like. Keep the input coming friends.

Agenda: Love,

Bethsaida