Sitting here on my bed, with a bandana wrapped around my head, gangsta style, trying to get rid of this headache and fight off the flu symptoms that are trying to inch their way into a fever… I have time to reflect.
I want more time to reflect. I want more time to write. That means I have to make a better effort to. But it seems that often times I feel that what I write isn’t “good enough” it “doesn’t really matter”. Maybe to some it won’t…but maybe to others it will. And for “the others”, I keep writing.
Singing is becoming something that I’m doing more often, Dec 3rd I’ll be back at The Bitter End NYC (shameless plug), but so many times I feel like it’s just not “good enough”. There are a million other better singers and writers, why should my voice matter?
Because it just does. I don’t know why it does…but it does. Because God gave me this gift and one day I’ll have to answer to Him about how well I managed it. Answer to Him about all the gifts He’s given me.
When SHINE ended I felt old, ugly, untalented, and devastated. I felt like my world fell apart. Everything that I thought I knew, and the one thing I was sure that I was good at…was shaken. I wasn’t good at it. According to every single “V.I.P” there, I wasn’t good enough. Literally…I wasn’t. I felt like I had gone through a serious break up. One moment I was fine and the next tears were just streaming down my face… and I couldn’t stop them.
What a mess.
But I can look back now and see how God used that mess to make something beautiful. I wrote a song about the experience. I worked harder than ever before to NOT give up. I re-grounded myself in Truth. In God’s Truth…not what the “V.I.P’s” said. I let God take the brokenness and reshape me into someone with stronger faith, better lyrics, and a more deeply rooted character.
Can’t that be your story too? Can’t God take the messy, devastating moments of your life and use them to sharpen, refine, rebuild, and restore your life into something more beautiful? It’s through the fire that we become refined. Don’t give up on the gifting God has given to you. Your voice DOES matter. Your talent IS enough. Let the Truth saturate your mind.
You have your “the others” too. Share your gift with them. No one else can reach them like you.